Emails: Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen
by YoursTruly101
Summary: Esme and Bella communicate by Email when Esme and Carlisle are out of town. Bella fills Esme in on all of the events happening at the Cullen house while she is gone.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N—These are emails between Esme Cullen and Bella Cullen. Also, these emails are real emails between me and (fanfic writer) CarsmeCarlislexEsme. **

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight go to the wonderful and talented Stephanie Meyer. **

**Esme Cullen (carsmecarlisleXesme(at)) to Bella Cullen (stupidlamb(at)) **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Did Rosie Tell you what Nessie said?

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Oh oh, what now?

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Well, your little angel told Rosalie she had a big butt like Kim Kardashian. Carlisle and I couldn't help but laugh. But my question was how does she know who Kim Kardashian is?

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

hahahahahahaha only my daughter!!!

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Yes and she told me I look like the chick from Grey's Anatomy and that Carlisle looks like some Dr. Copper. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LETTING HER WATCH?

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen**

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Mmm, well maybe I shouldn't let Emmett babysit her anymore..........

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

YOU LET EMMETT BABYSIT! NOT A SMART MOMMY! CARLISLE AND I ARE HERE ALL THE TIME.......WELL CARLISLE ISN'T.......BUT I AM. EMMETT IS THE WORST INFLUENCE ON A CHILD

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Well, you see.... you were out shopping with Alice and Rosalie, and Edward and I wanted time alone, so we sent Nessie over to Emmett and Jasper.....................


	2. Chapter 2

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen**

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

OH DEAR GOD, SEND HER OFF WITH JAKE NEXT TIME, AND IF HE'S BUSY TAKE HER TO CARLISLE AT THE HOSPITAL ........IF HE CAN'T WATCH HER, THE NURSES WILL!!!!!!!!! I'm going to kill my sons. They are corrupting my baby granddaughter who is only two years old, well 8 years old, but that is so beside the point, here.. Do you know what she did? Well, she was running around the house naked screaming, "Give me money, give me money!" Well, no one gave her any money. So a few minutes passed and Carlisle came home and we were sitting on the couch talking and then all of a sudden here comes Naked Nessie. She runs up to Carlisle and says, "I'm naked old man! Give me my money". Carlisle was truly and utterly shocked. He just stood there dumbfounded. So I scooped her up in a blanket and asked her where she learned these actions and she said, "Uncle Emmett let me watch The Girls Next Door and they get money from an old man just for being naked". Then for the first time.....i think.....EVER....Carlisle gasped for air and fell in to the fetal position on the couch. First he looks like Dr. Cooper, a man with sexual turrets, and now he's Hue Hefner. My poor Carlisle hasn't moved in 2 days. I'm getting worried. I mean I tried EVERY THING to make him move. I can't believe the "Exercice" didn't scar him for life but your little girl did.....I'm laughing on the inside right now. So please for the sake of everything pure and innocent in your daughters mind DON'T LET EMMETT BABYSIT!!!!! Sorry this email was so long.

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Yikes, I will have to have a talk with her then....

Well, you see, I called Jacob, and he didn't answer his frickin' phone, so yeah that led to me calling Emmett and Jasper. I knew Emmett might be a little "dangerous," but I thought that Jasper would somehow, oh I don't know, control him, but not like that. I thought that he would be the mature one, but guess not. Yes, you do need to have a sit down talk with your sons, and unfortunately, by brother in laws... what did I get myself into that day of the wedding? That I will never know.....

Tomorrow, I think I am taking Renesmee on a field trip... a field trip to.... a church, or maybe an abbey, or maybe a cathedral.... or better yet, Rome, to see the Pope (but dear got not the Volturi), wait scratch that, I will take her to a convent!

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

I will assist you in taking her some place HOLY AND INNOCENT!!!!!!........ should I be concerned......Carlisle hasn't moved in 4 days


	3. Chapter 3

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

wait, have u tried..............?

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

tried what?

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Never mind

threaten to tear him to pieces and burn him, because that is how u kill a vampire (I still have difficulty saying that word), or threaten to do that to yourself, and see what he does

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

I did..... What do I try next?

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen**

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

tell him your going to the Volturi to command them to kill you because Carlisle is basically acting as if he is dead and nonexistent

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

kk I will try that

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

You do that, and then update me on the progress

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

I told him exactly what you told me to tell him. I got all the way to Italy before the words finally registered in the man's head; it was sweet. He knew they we going to hurt me in some way. If it wasn't death....it would have been something worse. So now we're going on a gondola in the middle of the middle of the night. It will be romantic. How's Nessie?


	4. Chapter 4

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Nessie is doing good! She thinks she wants to dye her hair pink. I think Edward went into cardiac arrest when she said that, but he's fine. I convinced her not to dye her hair and rose and Alice were practically yelling at her at the top of their lungs when she said that, so it's all good.

How was the gondola ride?

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Wonderful! and what happened after wasn't that bad either. If you catch my drift. NO NO PINK HAIR!

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

yes, esme, i "catch your drift," and please don't go into anymore detail because as your punishment, i will go into detail....

Nope, no pink hair, oh wait, she just walked in the room and told me she wants a little brother or sister......... um now how do i explain to her i can't conceive a child considering the whole immortal thing?????

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Believe me Bella, seeing you and Edward IS NOT PUNISHMENT. I have seen all of you before. I can walk in and out and you don't even notice.....well you might......Em and Rose Don't. I won't go in to detail I promise...you will see us soon enough. Emmett thinks its some sick right of passage into the family. Tell Nessie that you don't want any more children cause she is too perfect and no other child can live up to her. Try it!

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

kk, I will try it and write back right after

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Alright.... well ummm.... Carlisle and I have some business to attend to so no hurry.


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

aghhhhh! STOP! you are corrupting my innocent brain, although Edward already did that quite well!

k, so I told Nessie that, and she says that she doesn't care, and then she said, "go make a baby." I wanted to scream, and of course Edward over heard that and yeah, that was interesting

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

PFFT, INNOCENT MY ASS. I wasn't even talking about that. We are going on his business trip in L.A. I was telling you we wouldn't be home. God, I'm not that naughty. Tell her that you can only have a baby if you are a virgin. It could work?

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

haha tried, she didn't fall for it

haha, ok sorry bout that

How was his business trip or are you on it right now answering this email from his Blackberry?

I just explained to Ness that vamps can't have babies and then Edward explained to her that I was human when I had her... she bought it

Then she said, ADOPT, agh! She will never stop!! But Jacob just picked her up, they're going to the beach and Edward and i are going hunting

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Tell her no cause it will be weird cause sooner then later you our Jasper would end up eating it.....for a snack. Well The trip is great. Carlisle doesn't think I need to go on most of these conventions with him, But its kind of nice. He goes to medical meetings and I hang out with the wives and shop. I always laugh because the wives all seem to be my physical age,26, but Carlisle is always the youngest one out of the doctors. The rest them have trophy wives that they show off like....well.....trophies. It's also a big confidence booster for me. Nurses at the hospital always look at Carlisle, but when I go with him the Doctors look at me when I'm all dressed up.

I find it funny to see Carlisle all protective. He always has an arm around my waist or is holding my hand. Actually just about an hour ago I had another doctor come up and grab my ass. He then offered to buy me a drink. I told him I was married to the blond surgeon right behind him. He turned around and walked away faster than...well.... we can walk. But the look in Carlisle's eyes scared me as well. He practically had me on his lap the whole in tire night. Even when we ate the dinner. That is the worst part of the whole trip. We had to eat a 5 course meal. It was horrible; we had to barf it up a few minutes ago. YUCK! We also danced, which was fun! But the best part of the night is when we go back to our hotel suit, we wear our pajamas, and then we just lay there in the bed watch Re-Runs of I Love Lucy (we do that from time to time)

Well, I'll talk to you later, Bella. We are going to start the re-runs.... and no, Carlisle bought me a laptop.... cause he's tired of me using his.....and his Blackberry. IT"S PURPLE! Give my family our love. BYE

P.S. I attached some pictures of us dancing and one of my laptop.


	6. Chapter 6

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

The dress is stunning, Esme. And the laptop! I adore the color! Did you know that purple is the color of royalty?

haha, yeah, I can just picture you guys eating the food and then running to the bathroom a-sap to barf it back up.... haha, mental picture go away!

I would have slapped that guy silly if he grabbed my ass... and then Edward would beat him up! haha

Renesmee just gave up with the whole sibling thing, but she is a persistent little thing, isn't she? Oh, and now she wants a dog..... i don't think that would go over well with our family, lol... maybe a pet rock...

When do you guys get back from your trip?

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Royalty...huh? Why don't you try telling Emmett that.....He needs to appreciate his mother a little more. Thanks, Carlisle likes the dress as well. Oh no, we had to wait at least 2 more hours before we could barf it back up. Of course Carlisle can hold down his cookies better than I can. So I fake.... well not really. I faked sick to get out of talking to any more doctors. Carlisle acted like he was truly concerned. IT WAS THE PERFORMANCE OF OUR LIVES lol!!! The next morning someone even asked if I was aright. Simple humans!!!

Oh no, you don't need a puppy! YOU ALREADY HAVE JAKE!!!!! teehee May be you could get her a fish and build Jake a dog house. It would all work out in the long. Yes she is very persistent.....kind of like some other brunette, gold eyed, vampire I know..... hmmmmmmm.... I wonder who that is?

Well yes the trip is over, but Carlisle feels very guilty for making me go all the way to Italy to get his attention. So he is taking me to the island. Thank Edward and you for leaving it in perfect condition from your stay.....or at least that's how Edward told me you guys left it. HEY! Maybe I could bring Nessie a Parrot? What do you think?

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

I will tell Emmett that! Although, I don't think he'll fall for it.

Too bad you didn't get your performance in front of the humans on film. That would have been laugh out loud funny!

Oh, don't worry... Rosalie just got back from Pet-Co. She bought Jake a dog house today, a rather expensive one for that matter. Mmmm, a goldfish? I like the way you think... wait, no, that's a bad idea. Emmett would eat it; swallow it whole. I think I might just go outside and grab her a rock and call it a pet. We'll name it... mmm, Bob, that's what we'll name it.

Who? Me? Persistent? Noooooooooo............

Have fun on your island!! A Parrot? Thanks, but no thanks!

K, I can't type anymore right now because Nessie just walked in. Guess what she wants to do!!! ?? !! She wants to go back to Pet-Co and buy Jake a bed. I'm fine with that as long as only Jacob uses the bed.......... if you know what I mean, or as you say, "If you catch my drift"

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen**

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee**

Emmett is simple enough he'll believe it. OMG WE DID GET IT ON TAPE!!!! Carlisle and that damn black berry of his...I think he loves more than he loves me sometimes.

Oh good Jake deserves a nice dog house..... Hey We'll get him that huge one like in Clifford the Big Red Dog........We'll call him Jake The huge Russet Werewolf. It will be a great children's show. I'll even decorate it personally with the help of you and your daughter of course.

True! Emmett would eat it! That's what happened to our first and last Dog..... Gingersnap. But then again a gold fish is easy to replace. However, personally I like Bob he won't shit on my carpets.

YES, YOU ARE VERY PERSISTENT AND STUBORN! Carlisle agrees completely; he's laughing right now. He thinks it's silly that we are typing letters on the computer....He is so 1600s! tee hee lol!

I completely understand about the bed. She is to young to even kiss boys unless it is on the cheek or he is related to her.

Oh, one more thing. Tell Edward he's ashes when we get home. I'm missing pillows and there was a very large Edward size chunk taken out of our bed.....THE VERY FIRST BED CARLISLE AND I BOUGHT AS A COUPLE!!!!!!! I'm upset but I understand. However, Carlisle is pissed, like FIRE IN EYES PISSED. I miss my pillows, though; they were from Russia.


	7. Chapter 7

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen**

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee**

I can't wait to see the video when you guys get home. We should burn it to a DVD and everything and we can watch it on the flat screen. Don't worry Esme! Carlisle loves you more than anything in the world. The same goes for Edward and Me. Carlisle would take a bullet for you... ok, that doesn't really count in this sense, but you get what I mean.

"Jake The Huge Russet Werewolf." I love it! Yes, we have to build him a huge doghouse. And you know what?? We could even let Rosalie write "Fido" on the front if that would make her happy.

I'm going to the store tomorrow to buy a goldfish. Ness wants to name the goldfish Timothy. Why? I do not know! I got her a rock this morning from outside, but she says it's boring and doesn't do anything besides sit there.

Haha, tell Carlisle that email is the new quill!

Well, Jacob has kissed her on the cheek, nowhere else thank god. But Jacob asked me the other day if when Renesmee has the appearance of a 14 year old, if he has my permission to kiss her on the lips. I said that I would talk to Edward about it. Then Jacob huffed off in the other direction.

Oh, so you saw the headboard. Edward actually just ordered another one online. He found an identical one and it should be delivered in a week I think. Edward and I are going to meet the delivery guys if you and Carlisle won't be there. The pillows... I am searching online right now for the exact brand and I will have them delivered to the island. Tell Carlisle that he shouldn't be pissed about the headboard or the pillows. The reason for their destruction made Edward and I happy, and gave us your granddaughter, Renesmee.

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

Oh Bella, I'm not afraid. I know he loves me. In all of his life he has seen many dying women, Elizabeth Masen for one he could have turned and married her and they could have raised Edward happily as a vampire Family, and I would be some where under the ground. However, he didn't pick Elizabeth, he pick me, ME out of every dying woman that he had ever met because he felt as if he had to have me. Not like he wanted to hunt me or drain me dry, but to love and to marry me...... or at least that's what he tells me and I have no reason to doubt him; he's never lied to me before.

YES I'll start blue prints now.... you know interior and exterior design are my forte. It will give me something to do while Carlisle files his papers for work. No, we will not write just Fido.... and If we do it would be Fido/Jacob or Jakie Fido or Jacob "Fido" Black....I personally like that one. What color do you think he would like?

OH Yay I love gold fish i want pictures of the fishy and Bob. I'm sure he is just the most adorable rock ever to exist on the planet. What does Nessie think of them? I'm EXCITED! Send me pics asap!

NO,NO,NO, he does not have permission. THAT IS TO YOUNG. He has to wait until she is at least 14 age wise not appearance. Does he know how wrong that would be? He looks 24ish and she will look 14 that is not right. If he did that he would look like Carlisle trying to kiss me the first time we met. He was 23 pretending to be 30 and I was 16! SO NO IS MY VOTE AND CARLISLE SECONDS THE NOTION!

Well, Bella I understand, I'm not angry, but I was upset. It's all right now. It's Carlisle who is angry. We bought that headboard/bed together; he feels that if Edward just buys a replica it won't be the same. It was a very sentimental piece for both of us. It was like our union to him. It's only because in his time when a man and a woman bought a bed together it was considered their wedding bed and that would be the bed they would use to ummm.... make love in on there wedding night. Well, we did and we move around so much and didn't want to leave it behind so we put it on the island. Originally, no one besides us was ever going to go to the island. You and Edward are the first of our children to even step foot on it.

So, when Edward asked me and only me it made Carlisle angry, for it's our island, it's just named after me. So we (Carlisle and I) talked about it together and a lot of persuasion from me, we finally said yes, but there were ground rules. Edward was never supposed to bring you into that room. For one, it would be awkward to sleep together in the same bed your parents/in-laws did it in..... which you did.... HAHAHA you and Eddie lost your virginity in the same bed Carlisle did!..... and 2 Carlisle didn't want Edward to break it.

Now, Carlisle feels as if Edward does not respect our relationship or our wishes. I mean I'm all right with it but it was tradition to him. You know how traditional Carlisle is.... I mean on our wedding night he made me wear my nightgown the whole time, because it was not proper for a man to see a lady in the nude..... so I took it off and he covered his eyes, but he peeked and hasn't stopped peeking ever since. So he wants to keep the wedding bed tradition. I couldn't deny him that. So he feels disrespected, and hurt that Edward could not follow his one simple instruction, and oh boy he's angry. He even hung up a hand-engraved wooden sign that says NO CULLEN CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN, WEREWOLVES, OR TOURISTS ALLOWED. He means business.

Don't worry about the pillows, they'll come when they come and as for the headboard... have it re routed to the home because Carlisle will send it back. He will eventually want to replace it but now is just not a good time. So please update me on the Nessie and Jake situation. Oh I told Carlisle the quill thing he wants an Email.... I'm thinking .com or .com . What do you think? Give me some ideas as well!


	8. Chapter 8

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen**

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee**

I can't wait to start construction on Jacob's doghouse. I totally agree with Jacob "Fido" Black. That is the best ever. I'm not sure how Jake will feel about it, but we can have our fun, can't we?

Okay, so I have some news.... we bought the gold fish, Bob, but while Emmett and Jasper were watching him swim around his bowl in continuous circles, they kinda...umm, well, they were peering into the bowl, and their faces got a little too close to the bowl, and kaboom, the glass bowl fell over, splattering all over the kitchen tile, and well, the dimwhits were worried about cleaning up the glass so no one would get cut (we can't get cut you idiots!!!) forgetting about Bob, so I think you know how that story ends.

Tell Carlisle that i had no idea what-so-ever that Edward had made that promise. He never told me of it and I am terribly sorry he broke it. BUT, there is an upside to this situation..... We got Renesmee and that is the best thing that could have ever come out of that situation. Also tell Carlisle that Edward and I had a great time in that bed of yours.........................

need i say more?

.com ........ LOVE IT! That is perfect! Did you know that Edward does not have an email? Well, he does now. I created it last night. It is .com I wanted to do something fun, but he said no, so he got that boring address. I wanted , but once again, he said no, grr.

Ok, I gotta go, Jasper is trying to teach Nessie how to play Monopoly. Why? I do not know, but Ness wants me to play with them.

Also, I talked to Jake and told him exactly what you said. His reply was: "How do you know I haven't kissed her already?" and then he walked away all mad. But then I asked Ness if he had kissed her, she said no, and Edward confirmed it by doing that annoying mind reading thing. So, now I have to have a talk with Jake, but hey, Renesmee is lucky. Jacob is a damn good kisser. I mean, he doesn't compare to Edward, but Jake is good.

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

OMG I FOUND THE PERFET DOG HOUSES FOR JAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SENDING YOU THE PICTURES. i DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE HE WOULD WANT?

AWE Bob died.....cause of Emmmett and Jasper......I'm angry I really want to met that fish. Hows the ock working out though? Ya know what I don't care...I think I will get Nessie a Parrot. I will be a good play mate.

Yay, Dr. McSparkley has been created. I'm so excited! So is he..... except he doesn't know what his screen name is tee hee..... He's going to use it alot now he says. I'm a bad wife....sometimes. I like it its.... change it when hes not looking.

Ya, I think carlisle has simmered down some....I don't know where he is though.......OH I found him....... he's outside hammering in his sign. With his shirt off Wow even my husband's back mucles are sexy. Damn. Have you ever seen Carlisle whith his shirt of. Hell i't heaven. Sorry little distacteed there. OH MY he turned around... oh now he's waveing. Damn you Carlisle and your sexyness.

I might be angry at Jacob when i get home. tell him no no kissy my granddaughter. The only person who should be kissing right now is me. I should be kissing Carlisle and all of his half naked golry. Well I got to go Carlisle came inside. Now, we really have business to attend to. Well, I know you caught my drift.

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen**

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee**

haha, i just say we not tell him he is getting a dog house. Let's just surprise him!

It's okay, Edward already punished Emmett and Jasper............................. well, i helped him, but whatever.........

Thank you so much for getting Renesmee a parrot against her mother's will. If you want her to have a parrot so badly, make sure it stays in your house. it's not coming in our house.

Yes, i will change his email without telling him, yay. I wonder how he will punish me when he finds out? mmmmmm, can't be THAT bad......

I talked to Jacob about our little issue. He says he is fine with that. He thought that it was fun to see Edward and I get all furious about it. I slapped him (lightly) on the back of his head. But then i gave him permission to still kiss her on the cheek. That is fine with me, Edward? not so much, but i "talked" him into it.

YES, i got your drift. Geeze, stop corrupting my innocent little mind... wait, i hinted at something 3 times in this email bout stuff that is no so innocent. Oh well!

When will you be home?

**Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen **

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee **

ELLA YOUR MIND IS NOT INNOCENT WHAT SO EVER..... and you know what. I can say that my husband is sexy if i want to....cause i know what sexy is!!!!!! For my Dear Bella you'll know when sexy is there it happens around 88 to 90 years of marrigae.....and if your not borad with that person and you still have the same drive as you did as when you were first married its sexy.... so i know sexy.

Well, sorry for my out burst and , We are coming home now. See you soon I have to get on the plane.

**Bella Cullen to Esme Cullen**

**Subject: Our Little Renesmee**

You will probably get this reply once you get home, but yes, i have to agree, my mind is not innocent. I just try to act like it. haha

No, don't apologize for your "outburst." But... your son (Edward that is).......... well, i think you know what I'm gonna say...... is SEXY! So yeah, hahaha!

I hope you and Carlisle had a good time on your trip. Call me when you guys get back home and we will head over to your house with Nessie.

**A/N – we are working on emails between Edward and Carlisle right now, meaning, this is the last chapter for Bella and Esme emails. **


End file.
